Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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