I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
