I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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