Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
