About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
