That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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