dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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