Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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