I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
