Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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