I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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