There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
