Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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