Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
