Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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