nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
