Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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