you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
