So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
