I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
