R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
