piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
