just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
