this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
