If that was your dad, he is hot
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
