a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
