I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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