I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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