Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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