Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
