Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
