oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
