apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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