these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
