Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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