You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
