OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
