weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
pray to the hookup gods
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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