i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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