With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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