covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
