i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
