after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
