tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
