butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
