I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
