We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
