I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
