Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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