But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
