I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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