Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
