hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
