You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
